Flu Camp Diary

There are many styles of writing, from poetry to prose, fact or fiction, formal or informal. Depending on what type of document is being produced, you may find different styles employed. This article is in the form of a diary, so it is very informal. It may be of great use to you in reading practice, and also perhaps show you a different way of creatively writing. Enjoy!

Helpful vocabulary and comprehension questions can be found at the bottom of the article.

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Hopefully this log will help anyone who is thinking about getting involved in Flu Camp make their decision.

It's perfectly safe. Although the drugs are still in experimental stages, they have made sure that they aren't dangerous at all to users.

If that's all you're worried about, you needn't. For a more detailed look at the actual experience check out my Flu Camp Diary. Maybe you will find it worth it to earn £3,500!

Flu Camp Diary

Pre-Screening

Up to Ely to have my pre-screening to see whether I'm fit for Flu Camp. Too early for me to want breakfast. They said eat before you arrive, but my stomach doesn't like being force fed at ungodly hours. I got there and grabbed a couple of free biscuits and water. That'll do.

Dr Ravi (I think that was his name. If not, it's probably best I don't know and use his real name on a blog anyway) asked if I knew about the study. I'd read the email and the detailed attachment a week before and got the gist of it.

When he asked me what I understood, it was clear that I was working from patchy memories and he gave me 15 minutes to read the whole package again.

After that he came back and went through it with me to make sure I understood better.

To be fair I had misremembered some of it from before, but luckily I had read it again now as his accent was often too strong to follow.

He left me with a guy nurse to do the checks.

Apparently I was one of the most difficult customers - not from being obnoxious or anything like that. I was perfectly lovely. My readings were all out of whack.

The first thing was a lung test or something. The nurse said I would be his favourite if I got it first time.

I don't particularly understand the science, but I had to empty my lungs by breathing out, then suck in from a tube and blow back into it. The guy showed me the screen but I didn’t know what it meant really. My line was in the coloured area and he said my result was at the lower end of acceptable. My blow was good but my suck was bad.

We tried again cos he said he’d prefer a better result.

It was the same.

We tried again.

It was the same.

We tried again.

It was a bit worse.

He said we'll try again later.

So we tried a blood pressure reading. Again, I don't get the science but on the first reading one of my numbers was a touch too high while everything else was perfect. As it was only a tiny bit out he read again. This time that reading was normal, but something else was a tiny bit low.

We tried again.

First reading again.

He decided we'll come back to that again later too.

Got wired up with eight sticky pads to read electric patterns or something. That seemed fine.

Then he took some blood samples. A few different coloured vials. I'm not sure how my blood knows in what order to come out to get what they want in them.

Then a urine sample. I could handle that. Had more to give than the vial needed.

Finally we did a trial nasal wash to see how I handled it. It was a bit strange and slightly uncomfortable, but not so much that it hurt or was irritating.

Then I went back to the room and a different nurse sat with me for the breathing test.

I was getting similar results as before.

Then on one random attempt, my result was opposite and I gave a good suck but a bad blow.

They figured on average it was all fine.

Then he did the blood pressure again and this time it seemed fine, so that was a relief.

Finally Dr Ravi came back and did a few general checks. Looked in my ears and nose, asked me to squeeze his fingers (I don't know why) and things like that.

I had been in there for 3 and a half hours. They told me that normally they take between 2 and 3 and that 3 is unusual.

The trial would take place in a few weeks, so I would have to wait until then.

Day -2

I'd had a phone call last week saying I should be all right to come on the trial, but they just needed to get my blood results back.

I knew my blood was fine as I'd had it tested fairly recently elsewhere, so felt confident I'd be invited along.

Two days before the trial I was called and they let me know I was accepted.

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On the day I was up at 7 to get train at 28 past to begin the two hour journey passing through platform 9 3/4.

On arriving at Cambridge I was met by a flu camp rep and put in a cab with six other subjects - three girls three guys. All of us had to put on masks so we didn't contaminate each other just in case one of us had a cold.

We passed the time on the ride with introductions, though none of us could be sure if we'd see each other again once we got to the place.

There were predictably writers and students and also a guy called Rob who says he does a couple of things for government, whatever that means.

We arrived at big country house and the scene was complete with autumn leaves falling from trees. It was a bit eery. With Halloween coming up, my concern that one of us might become a patient zero in a zombie outbreak rose.

We pulled up to entrance and could see people inside wearing biological hazard scrubs and masks.

The masks looked like they could get away with using them as space helmets in early Star Trek.

If I wasn't already concerned by what I'd got myself into, I noticed one of them was wearing crocs. A full grown skinhead man in crocs.

It didn't seem safe.

We were all asked to wash our hands, then given a tube of anti-bac hand gel to keep. They sprayed our shoes and wiped down our luggage.

They took us off one by one.

Found out I would be in the bed next to Rob.

He opened his information binder and it slipped from one of his hands. He said “For a second there I thought it was all gonna go everywhere.”
A second later, the binder snapped and everything went everywhere. How I laughed.

After a bit of waiting around it was my turn. I went last because I'm so polite. Two nurses looked through bag to make sure I had no contraband or forbidden items. I worried that maybe my electric shaver or my deodorant might count, but luckily they were fine.

They took an entire outfit of clothes from me so I would have something that never went into quarantine after I left. That left me with only one pair of jeans to wear for two weeks.

I then went to see the doctor. It was Dr Ravi again. He let me know that there had been some slight changes to the study, so I would have to sign a new consent form.

All it was, was that they had more people in the study than they originally had invited and that instead of there being a 50/50 chance of getting either the drug or a placebo, it was now 1/3 drug, 1/3 placebo, 1/3 one part placebo to two parts drug.

I was fine with that.

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They took me to the room and I set myself up in the bed allocated: 4B.

Here I'll stay for two weeks. All I have is what I've brought with me. No Wi-fi password ready to be used..

As I had been warned, this was not like the usual flu camp set up. Instead of a room with an ensuite and a PS3 to myself, I'm in a dorm with five other guys, all separated by curtains.

This was Day -2. For today and the next day there would be various tests done to ensure I was right for the proper trial. At this stage I could still be excluded from the full trial. I'd still get paid for the days I was here though.

They offered me breakfast but it was 11.45 so I imagined lunch would be coming soonish and declined.

We had been given menus to choose what we wanted for the next few days on arrival.

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Rob from the cab was in the bed next to mine. He told me that his workmates had snuck a bag of sex toys and a Kronenbourg into his suitcase before he left so he got a nice surprise when the nurses opened it to check.

He then told me about what happened when he saw Dr Ravi. The doctor had asked if he was OK and he had replied 'all pistons blazing'. Dr Ravi didn't understand the slang and took it to mean that Rob had driven up and his car had caught fire on the way. Rob tried to explain that it was a figure of speech, but Dr Ravi kept asking if he was OK after the fire.

I checked out the menu.

BREAKFAST

One item in each section

-Cereals-

Weetabix

Branflakes

Cornflakes

Rice Krispies

Musili

-Bread/Pastry-

Croissant

White Roll

-Spread-

Butter

Flora

-Preserve-

Jam

Marmalade

Honey

-Fruit-

Fresh fruit

All Breakfasts served with Juice and a Yoghurt

LUNCH

One item from the Deli, one Crisps and one Dessert

-Deli-

Simply Beef Sandwich

Gammon Ham & Tomato Sandwich

Tuna Mayonnaise & Sweetcorn Sandwich

Free Range Egg & Cress Sandwich

Roast Chicken Salad

Cheddar Cheese & Pickle Sandwich

BLT

Chicken Cesar Wrap

Middle East Feast Vegetarian Wrap

Ham and Cheese Sub Roll

Cheddar Cheese Roll

Carrot & Cucumber with Red Pesto & Houmous Pot

King Prawn & Noodle

Greek Salad

-Add-

Plain Crisps

S&V Crisps

C&O Crisps

-Dessert-

Fruit Yogurt

Plain Yogurt

Cereal Bar

Fruit Pot

DINNER

Chefs Main Hot Meal of the day

Chefs Vegetarian Hot Meal of the day

Chefs Hot Dessert of the day

All dinners served with cheese and biscuits

As I was settling in I was asked for a urine sample. I said I'll do it, but then he asked me to wait as he wasn't ready.

Nurse Percy came round and took blood samples. 5 vials. Seemed like the same set up as when it was done at pre-screening.

When he moved on I overheard him say to Rob that today is slow compared to some later days.

When the guy finally came back with the vial for my urine sample I still had to wait for someone to come and take me to the toilet. It seems that every time I need the toilet i will have to be escorted. I don't like the idea of someone being called to answer my every bowel movement.

The toilet turns out to be a few steps away from the room. I'm not sure what the escort is needed for.

I also have to wear my mask whenever I go, which makes it even more faffy.

I'm getting the distinct worrying impression that a fair number of the nurses are in training.

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Waiting around for wi-fi feels like an age as all I have to keep me entertained is my computer (and Rob although he's been quiet since the blood taking. He might be napping as he said he was at work right up until getting the train here this morning).

We'd asked a few times between us now, so all we could do was wait.

I suppose I could decide what I want to eat.

WED

Skip breakfast

Lunch: chicken cesar wrap, C&O crisps, fruit yogurt

Dinner: mystery meal and dessert

THU

Breakfast: cornflakes, white roll butter and jam with fruit

Lunch: Egg and cress, C&O crisps, fruit yogurt

Dinner: mystery meal and dessert

FRI

Breakfast: branflakes, white roll butter and jam with fruit

Lunch: ham and cheese sub, S&V crisps, fruit yogurt

Dinner: mystery meal and dessert

Not long after I finished making my options a guy came round to offer lunch. Seemed like it was all they had left. No chicken, so I took egg and cress. Will change tomorrow’s lunch to chicken to make it up.

It came with S&V crisps, an apple juice, an apple Nutri-grain bar, and an apple. Like some sort of twisted apple joke…

With no web access, I watched an episode of ‘Peep Show’ that I'd downloaded last year for some reason as it was all I had. It was the one where Jeremy becomes a life coach.

Brown bread. Sort of fancied white...

The guy across from me has a banana. Bastard.

There's a bit of uncertainty about whether or not I'm gonna have to do anything else today. Nurses keep coming in, but I don't know what they're up to.

About two hours later, I'm extremely bored as the wi-fi password hasn't been given to us yet and my laptop’s entertainment value is pretty limited without internet access.

Played a bit of ‘Defense Grid’ as it's the only thing I've got on the machine from Steam for some reason. Bashed through one level I've been stuck on for ages (‘Crossed lines ‘ I think) and am pretty exhausted with it. Pleasantly surprised to have got through it on my first go though.

It's quite stuffy in here too, but I don't want to strip off too much as I'm in a room with varying amounts of people.

I might have a nap. Not much else to do for now.

At about 3 some more scrubs came in and started doing nasal swabs. The guy before me said that he didn't like it, so I wasn't excited about my turn.

The doctor/nurse I don't know showed me the swab. It was a long thin strip thing. He said he would push it up through my nose into the back of my throat to take some mucus. It didn't sound too bad. Then he said it would probably stimulate nerve endings that I didn't know I even had. So he went ahead.

It felt like I was being stabbed in the head with a tickle.

After needing a pee for a little while, I asked to be escorted to the toilet.

I didn't like the smallness of the facilities and their proximity to the staff area. It didn't seem to give me the privacy I was no doubt going to need at some point in the two weeks. I could hear them talking, so they would probably hear anything I might do.

I reminded them to pass us the wi-fi password as I returned and fortunately they were swift this time. Finally, no longer cut off from the world.

Had another nap as a headache came on from being up too early.

ECG, weight, alcohol breath test.

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Chicken hot pot with mash at 6pm followed by a sponge with custard.

About seven had another check with Dr Ravi. He looked in my ears, nose, eyes, then put a wooden stick in my mouth and asked me to say 'aah'. I couldn't do it. I would either gag, or my tongue would wrestle the stick out of my mouth. Saying 'aah' with something in there was hard enough without my tongue doing it's own thing. He then bashed my elbows and knees with a hammer for reflexes. Didn't work at first. He listened to my heartbeat and then again in my back. Finally he asked me to breathe then squeezed my stomach.

Still head-achy. Wanting an early night at 8pm.

I think I'd be enjoying it if it weren't for the headache.

At half eight, a nurse said they'll be waking us up at 6am to check some vitals. Torture!

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After a call home to say goodnight, I went for my early night.

At about half eleven we were disturbed by some nurses checking the tablets by our beds. I'd been asleep for about two hours and my headache had thankfully gone. Seemed it was just from being tired.

The lights were still on so I asked if they would be all night. I was right under a spotlight. The nurse said he'd get the dim ones on as people would probably need to be in and out.

The dim lights were a bit better and I dozed off again.

DAY -1

Woken up at 6.15 by a nurse saying they would be in in a few minutes to do some morning checks.

At 6.45 they arrived to do it.

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It was just the blood pressure thing, checking pulse and temperature in the ear again.

Then she said I could go back to sleep as that would be all for a while.

Half an hour later more were in to do spiros - that breathing in the tube thing that I did so well at at pre-screening.

We did a practice run, then three real ones. He forgot to save the third one, so I had to do another.

My results looked much the same as I remembered them before.

I hope this early routine isn't what we're going to have to get used to. If lights out is at midnight and wake up is at 6, that's a full two hours short of recommended sleep.

I like a bit extra myself too.

Breakfast arrived just before 9. Weetabix, a pear, apple juice, strawberry yoghurt, no bread roll... One spoon for both things. Had to call them back and swap for the cornflakes I ordered.

Halfway through my bowl of sugarless cornflakes, I was informed I would have to do the dreaded nose swab again. Right now. Administered by Crocs.

Apparently my original sample had been dry, which was a good sign that I had no virus there but they needed a better one.

So breakfast interrupted by the worst thing experienced so far at an ungodly hour was not adding to my comfort in any way.

At about 9.30 I had another check of my ears, nose, mouth, and back pulse.

Some of the guys that had been asking for showers since yesterday were finally allowed to go. I figured I'd wait til they had theirs.

I was watching ‘Ambassadors’ anyway. (The new Mitchell and Webb comedy on BBC1. Wasn't too great)

At 10 I overheard that the radiators have been on all this time. No wonder it was so stuffy and hot.

Asked for a shower, but they want to take some of my blood first. Trade...

Blood tests came around at just before 12...

I may as well wait for lunch before my shower now.

At 12.30 had my blood pressure and my ear temperature taken again. Every time we do this we have to lay still doing nothing for five minutes first.

At 1pm lunch came.

Filling out the menu was a waste of time apparently. The nurse said that the menus are starting on Monday now.

So I've got a Ham and Cheese Sub, Ready Salted Crisps, a Banana, and a Flapjack. Could have been worse, but I was looking forward to my chicken wrap.

On my first bite of the sub, Crocs came in, waved, and said my swab was perfect.

Finally got my shower at 2.30. Then another nurse gave me a bag of caramel Snack-a-jacks.

At 4.30 I had my first nasal wash here. They did both nostrils this time instead of the one that they did in pre-screen.

One of they guys got moved out of the room to be with a friend in another dorm.

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At 6.30 we got our orders for dinner. I'm having pasta bolognese. A tiny portion arrived with half of what I suppose was a potato and some veg.

I asked if there was any chance of another helping and luckily there was so I was happy to get it. Felt bad for the other guys in the room who wished they had the same idea.

We all got double helpings of sponge and custard though.

At 19.15 they came around to do our blood pressure and temperature again and said that would be it for the day.

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Entertaining myself online (including discovering Bitstrips) for the rest of the evening before another early night as they will be waking us between 6 and 7am again.

Day 0

Woken up today at 6.10 to be given tissues and a bag to put them in when used. They need to collect them all for study. Bit gross. And definitely a pointless gift at this time of morning when we're not even ill yet.

At 7.15 had blood pressure and temperature taken. Followed by my first symptom survey. Had to mark on a line how strong the symptoms were. The symptoms to note were runny nose, stuffy nose, sneezing, sore throat, earache, sore throat, malaise (tiredness), cough, shortness of breath, headache, and muscle/joint ache.

At the moment it's nothing for all of them except headache and tiredness but that's due to the heat in here and the being woken at stupid o'clock.

That was followed by an ear, nose, and mouth check, and a back listen, and some face prodding to see if it hurt.

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9am Breakfast. Got a roll this time. No knife to cut it with or spread the marge and jam so had to use the spoon.

9.10 Spiro interrupted breakfast.

At about 11 we were pleasantly surprised with a flapjack and crisps. Cheese and onion finally!

Seems that they understand that we're all hungry in here!

At 11.30 we were informed that we would be getting inoculations at 2pm.

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Lunch at 12.10. Ham and Cheese sub again with more C&O crisps and a banana.

At 1 we had another blood pressure and temperature check. We had another symptom sheet to fill. We'd be getting these three times a day for the rest of the stay.

At 1.30 Rob was asked to leave as his spiro readings weren't right. At least we know that they're being careful.

Inoculations arrived at 4pm.

We had to lie with our heads hanging off the end of the bed at a roughly 45 degree angle. Then Crocs dropped two lots of syringe fulls of illness into each nostril - left, right, left, right.

It felt weird, sort of tickly and made my eyes water (I have a sensitive nose anyway) and as some ran through into my mouth it had a bit of a sugary taste.

Following that we had to lay on our backs for ten minutes, then sit up and do nothing except wear a nose clip for 20 minutes.

Apparently that would be it for the day except for one more blood pressure and temperature check with a symptom sheet some time between 6 and 7.

Feeling lightheaded and a little headachy but not sure if that's from the dose or just the one I had before.

Final checks came at 6.45.

Two girls had been moved into the room to take the empty beds.

Dinner options were offered at 7.40. Meat or vegetarian meal. I gambled on meat but of course mentioned that I would take vegetarian if it was fish.

At 7.55 the meals arrived. I got the veg as meat was fish. Mac and cheese with some sides.

Half 9 shower and on returning had another ears, nose, mouth and back check. Misinformed again!

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For the first time they actually switched the lights off for the night at about 11.

Day 1

6.30 - Woken up to collect and replace our tissues. I hadn't used any, but they did anyway.
6.50 - They did our vitals (blood pressure and temperature) and our first symptom sheet of the day. I only put a 1 out of 10 for stuffy nose but left everything else as 'No symptoms', although having only just woken up I did want to put something for 'tiredness'.
7.30 - Outside the dorm I could hear the nurses saying there had been an incident and someone needed an ambulance. Reassuring.
8.15 - Breakfast: Bran flakes, raspberry yoghurt, apple juice and a seeded croissant. Came with a knife but no spread or jam, so no use for it.
9.10 - We had spiros again.

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9.15 - They brought in an air-con unit for the room. Turns out the ambulance was for a member of staff who had fainted because of the heat.
9.50 - ears, nose, throat, back.
13.10 - vitals check again and symptom diary.
13.35 Lunch. My Chicken Cesar Wrap has finally arrived. Came with another raspberry yoghurt, C&O crisps, and a Rice Krispie bar.

There was some cheeky cheese in the wrap. A very pleasant surprise. It was worth the wait.

I stowed the Rice Krispie bar away for another time and had my flapjack that I'd kept from the day before.

15.10 - We were given our menus for the rest of the two weeks we'd be staying. Although they would only count from Monday.
17.00 - Another bag of C&O crisps.

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18.10 - We had the option given of vegetable ghoulash or Moroccan lamb tagine for dinner. I chose lamb. It wasn't great and I was told the ghoulash was horrible. The ginger sponge and custard pudding almost made up for it though.

19.20 vitals and symptom diary again.

Watched ‘Re-Animator’. If you like weird and don't mind gore, give it a go.

Day 2

Woken up at 5am by two people whispering/talking in hushed voices. At first I thought it was the girls, but I realised it was a couple of doctors/nurses. Don't know why they were doing whatever they were doing in here at this time.

Went to toilet and when I was done was told that I probably couldn't go again til about 8 as they would want samples from everyone.

Wake up call at 6.10 for vitals.

Vitals and symptom diary taken at 6.45. Told that Nasal wash and spiros would be coming soon.

7.20 - ears, nose, throat, and back. They're starting to learn that my tongue will not accept wooden sticks in it's realm.

7.30 Nasal wash. Messier than usual. Probably a sign that the virus is working. Figured out that breathing in and out through my mouth helps prevent the stuff going in it.

Breakfast at 8.15. Muesli, a croissant, and raspberry yoghurt, with an apple juice. No, spoons, knife, bowl, or milk.. Definitely asked for some.

Asked for our samples at 8, but I didn't need to go. Getting involved with some water. They also mentioned blood would be taken at some point.

Watched the first episode of ‘The Moaning of Life’ and then went to the bathroom.

Had my Rice Krispie bar. Was ok.

11.15 They came for our blood. Swarmed in like birds of prey. It hurt more than usual and I had to pump my fist to get the last of it out.

12.45 - Vitals and symptom diary.

1pm - Lunch: Ham and cheese sub again, C&O crisps, a little iced sponge cake and apple juice.

2- tried to nap as headache was coming back.

2.30 spiros came so I had to be woken.

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5.30 dinner - Sunday Roast Beef! Complete with Yorkshire pudding. Apple crumble dessert. Probably the best meal so far, though that's not saying much.

7.10 - They came to do vitals, but nasal wash team came afterwards and said they had to go first. So that happened. The guy who gave me the symptom diary said that they had to turn the pages for us. No one had before except the first time when they were showing me what to do.

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10.10 - Cheeky extra bags of C&O and Ready Salted Crisps. I'll save the C&O and have the plain.

Day 3

Woke us up just before 7 for vitals check and symptom diary. My greeting was 'Morning big boy'. Didn't know what to make of that.

As the nurse left she tapped me and said “All done“. Just happened to tap me on the penis. I don't think it was deliberate and through her gloves and the bed-sheet I don't think she even realised.

She let me do my diary without turning pages for me.

7.20 - Examination (ears, nose, throat, and back) and Nasal Wash. They're pretty messy now and I keep getting the saline stuff in my mouth which is horrible. Still not really feeling any symptoms though. A sneeze once in a while, but not really enough to say more than normal, slightly stuffy nose. Tired, but I think that's unrelated to the virus.

8.20. Breakfast. Today should have been the first day of menu options. I don't think they followed it.

I got cornflakes (which I might have put down), a tiny piece of baguette with butter (I probably put bread roll, but there was no jam with it) and a Rice Krispie bar (I put yoghurt every day). No fruit or juice. I hope they get lunch right. I'm pretty sure I ordered the chicken wrap again.

Apparently the proper food is coming tomorrow.

9.30 - Given fresh bed sheets so we could change them ourselves. Something to do for a few minutes.

10.40 - Spiros

The girl in the bed next to me was told that she'd be getting her first drug dose tonight as her nasal wash came out positive for the virus. Out of the 27 people in for study, 6 were now ready for dosing.

12. Lunch. Off menu again, but I got my Chicken Cesar Wrap (jackpot), Ready Salted Crisps, an Apple Nutri Grain, a pear, and an apple juice. Not bad.

12.35 - Vitals. Still feel fine. I could again turn the diary pages myself. I'm wondering what the communication between staff is like. They all seem to have different ideas. Most of the times I've been to the toilet so far, I've pulled the cord to let someone know to come escort me back to the room, but let myself out. Usually it's fine, but twice I've been told that I'm not allowed to. It's difficult to know what to do as some leave me waiting for ages if I don't come out by myself.

16.50 - Surprise second lunch! BLT, Plain crisps, Apple Nutri Grain, and an apple juice.

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17.15 - Offered a choice of meat hotpot or vegetable lasagne. No idea what the meat would be. Guessing beef. I gambled on that.

17.30 - Food arrived. Not sure if the meat was beef or lamb.

17.50 - Pudding. Some kind of jam sponge.

18.00 - Used my first tissue for a messy sneeze.

18.15 - Vitals and diary.

19.30 - Nasal wash. It tickled and kept making me sneeze.

20.40 - The girl had her dose of drug or placebo.

11.30 - Lights out. Nurses/doctors had been in doing stuff with the girl right until now. Couldn't get the early night I wanted.

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Day 4

6am - Nurses were in doing stuff but didn't try to wake us. They did a bit though. Managed to doze off again.

7am - Abruptly woken for vitals check, nasal wash, diary card and examination. Went back to sleep.

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8.50 - Breakfast. Apparently this is what we ordered today. Seems right. Alpen, baguette (with honey.. I think I asked for jam but oh well), an apple and a peach & passion fruit yoghurt with apple juice.

9.40 - Overheard the nurse call someone else 'big boy'. Must just be her normal greeting.

10.30 - Spiros

12 - Lunch: Ham and Cheese Sub, C&O crisps, and strawberry yoghurt. Same old same old.

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17.15 - Dinner - Chicken Curry.

17.25 - Seconds plus potato and spinach pie.

17.35 - Ginger sponge and custard

18.30 - Vitals and diary.

19.30 - Nasal Wash

20.30 - The girl and now one guy are getting their doses.

22.45- Lights out.

Day 5

6am - They come in, turn lights on, start doing stuff and knocking stuff over.

6.30 - They start waking us for vitals. Then symptom diary. I still had no symptoms except tiredness, slightly stuffy nose, and this morning an ever so tickly throat. I think that's all more to do with the lack of sleep.

6.50- Vitals done, another one comes in and says she's here to do vitals, so we point to the people who just did them.

She left us each a timetable for our doses as we would all be getting them today whether we had symptoms or not. Doses will be coming at 8am, 2pm and 8pm every day.

7.15 - Spiro. My tickly throat has gone.

7.20 - Nasal wash. It tickled and I sneezed with the tube up my nose.

7.30 - Examination.

8.10 - Had first dose. One of 10 out of 27 who started on the last day. They used a rubber mask hooked up to a device that read my breaths. I had to hold the mask to my face to make a seal and pretty much breathe normally. After 16 breaths, that was done. We did it twice to get the right dosage, so it was 32 breaths overall. Sometimes when I breathed out it made the rubber mask make a bit of a fart noise. It didn't taste of anything and I couldn't feel anything going in.

8.30 - As they were doing someone elses dose, I overheard them say we'll be discharged at about 6pm on the last day after a final nasal wash.

9.10 - Breakfast. Bran flakes, peach and passion fruit yoghurt, croissant with apricot jam, a pear, and an apple juice.

9.45 - Spiro. Apparently they come more often now as we're dosing.

10 - Vitals.

11 - ECG (electric sticker thing). Took half an hour as a trainee nurse wanted a go.

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11.30 - Given some treats: Caramel Snack a Jacks, Fruit flapjack and a genoa fruit cake. I'll save them for later and have the apple I saved.

12.10 - Lunch: Chicken Cesar Wrap, Cheese & Onion Crisps, Raspberry Yoghurt, and a carton of milk.

12.30 - Vitals and symptom diary.

12.50 - Spiros. It's become a bit of a joke that they always say 'keep-going-keep-going-keep-going-keep-going' until they need you to stop blowing.

13.00 Tucked into the fruit cake.

13.55 - Dosing. Did it a bit quicker this time.

15.10 - Nurse came in and asked us to rest for 5 minutes ready for vitals.

15.30 - Another came in to do spiros. I told him that we were resting and waiting for vitals.

15.40 - Vitals, then spiro. Spiro didn't work first two times for some reason so I had to do five instead of normal three.

17.20 - Dinner - Shepherd's Pie

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17.30 - Banana sponge cake

18.30 - Vitals. Asked if I could get a shower, but told I couldn't until a couple of hours after nasal wash.

19.20 - Nasal wash. This tube had an unusually long nozzle and it kept tickling me and forcing me into sneezing fits.

19.50 - Dosing and symptom diary.

20.55 - Snack delivery - Snack-a-jacks and a fruit flapjack. Add that to the stockpile.

21.30 - Spiro. I think it's a bit cheeky to be doing stuff this late when they wake us up at 6 every day. He said this was the last thing of the day.

21.40 - Set up the bed into a perfectly comfortable position, got ready to watch a bit of ‘Die Hard with a Vengeance’, started tucking into a bag of Snack-a-Jacks. Little treat before sleep.

21.45 - He comes in to check vitals. Bit annoying. So he flattens the bed and has me move my laptop away so I can rest for five minutes before the check. Very annoying. They didn't mention any of this stuff at pre-screening. If I get to sleep the minute he's done and they wake us up at 6am, that's 8 hours sleep. There's no chance I'm getting to sleep that fast. Plus I'm finding the way that they let themselves in when I've shut my cubicle curtain without so much as a 'Hi, coming in' or 'Are you decent?' is very rude and inconsiderate. I know they're doing a study and I'm the guinea pig, but we can still have some common courtesy.

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22.00 - Back to Die Hard. We turned the lights off ourselves.

22.30 - A guy comes in unannounced and starts looking through notes and doing stuff on the tablet. Doesn't say a word to me, as though I'm not here. Ridiculous. He faffed around for 15 minutes, no word said and went without closing the curtain again.

22.50 - Poor girl next to me is having an ECG. Can't believe it.

23.20 - Silent nurse guy is still in and out.

23.45 - Various staff are still in and out...

Day 6

5am -Woken by staff in and out doing whatever. Dozed of again.
5.30 – Woken by staff member coming into my cubicle for something. Dozed off again.
6.10 – Woken by lights being switched on. Dozed again.
6.30 – Physically woken for vitals, diary card and examination. This sucks.
7.00 – Spiro. I was pretty half-assed about it being so tired.
7.10 – Nasal wash.
8.00 – They said we’ll be having doses any minute.
8.30 – No sign of doses.
8.45 – Dosing. Amused that my text message alert (the sound of a TOS communicator) confuses the doctors/nurses and makes them think their equipment is going wrong.
9.00 – Breakfast: Branflakes, Croissant (I don’t think I ordered this many croissants) with raspberry jam and butter, Peach and passion fruit yoghurt, apple, and apple juice. Traded my croissant with girl next door for a baguette piece.
9.45 – Vitals.
10.30 – Spiro
12.15 – Lunch: Roast Chicken Salad Sandwich, peach and passion fruit yoghurt, and a carton of milk. Had my pear I’d saved as well.
12.40 – Vitals. BPM was a little high.
13.00 – Symptom diary card. Still nothing really.
13.10 – Finally got my shower I wanted from yesterday.
13.50 – The say dosing in half an hour. Meant to be at 2.
14.40 – Dosing.
14.45 – Enjoyed a fruit flapjack I’d saved.
15.40 – Vitals. Absent-mindedly said to two Muslim nurses that I can’t wait to go home and have bacon and eggs.

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17.20 – Dinner: Beef and dumpling I think. Some sort of attempt at cauliflower and broccoli cheese. Asked for seconds and got the infamous vegetable ghoulash. The rumours were true. Over dinner we all moaned to each other about the various irritations: the sub-par food, the lack of sleep, the lack of courtesy, the indignity of being escorted to the toilet. The girls had the added displeasure of having to appear topless in front of the nurses whenever they had an ECG. Female nurses to be fair, but one said that one of the other girls in their other room before they moved had been walked in on by a male.
17.45 – Dessert. Just raspberry yoghurt and C&O crisps. No special sponge.

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18.20 – Vitals.
18.40 – Symptom Diary Card.
19.15 – Nasal Wash.
20.30 – Waiting on doses..
20.45 – Dosing. Had another moan about the late nights and early morning. The nurses said the big black guy who came in the night was probably one of the doctors. They’d try and see if it could be avoided in future.
21.00 – Gonna watch ‘28 Days Later’ as it’s Halloween, I’m in a hospital and I’ve never seen it. Expecting to be interrupted. I have at least one more vitals check tonight.
21.50 – Vitals. Same nurse as who did the last dose. She said that the doctors were finishing up now and that once all the vitals were done they’d switch off the lights.
22.00 – Halloween confectionery treats!

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22.30 – Lights out. I guess they’re done.
22.55 – Now they’re done… earlyish night I think.
23.20 – Nope. The nurse who said they’d leave us alone early is the same one pottering about now.

Day 7

4.30 – Woke up for some reason. Not sure what it was, but got back to sleep again.
6.15 – Woken by them changing bins, swapping tissues and talking loudly.
6.20 – They asked for a urine sample. I was ready for it.
6.30 – Vitals and symptom diary card. My leg has was aching last night, but that might just be from laying in bed for a week.
6.45 – Examination. Apparently my tonsils are a bit enlarged. They do feel a tiny bit sore, but I’ve had that the last few days. It goes away after an hour or so.
7.00 – Spiros.
7.10 – Nasal wash.
8.00 – Dosing.
8.45 – Breakfast: Alpen, strawberry yoghurt, crusty bread roll with butter and strawberry jam, an apple, and apple juice.
9.10 – Vitals.
10.35 – Took some blood. I think I best eat an apple.
11.20 – ECG. Took half an hour as the nurses did it wrong and had to get another to check it.
12.05 – Lunch. I might have made a mistake on this one. I realised it was a gamble at the time. Carrot and cucumber sticks with houmous and red pesto. Nice though… something different. Came with C&O Crisps, peach and passion fruit yoghurt – no spoon. Ran out of salad sticks so had to finish the dip using crisps.
12.50 – Vitals and symptom diary.

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14.10 – Dosing.
15.35 – Vitals. Few mosquitos floating about. I thought this was quarantine.
16.00 – Genoa fruit cake treat.
17.35 – Dinner: Quorn and rice. Jam sponge pudding.
18.30 – Vitals and diary card.
19.15 – Nasal wash. It was the nurse’s first time. I made sure it was good for her.

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20.00 – Dosing.
21.20 – Vitals. Had to wait 15 minutes as the nurse is new and learning so going quite slow.
21.55 – S&V Crisps delivered.
22.40 – Lights out

Day 8

6.00 – Examination. Too early. Runny nose. Ick.
6.40 – Vitals and diary card.
7.10 – Nasal Wash.
7.25 – Spiro. Seems like new nurses every day. Starting to suspect that this trial is nothing to do with a drug and is actually just staff training.
8.05 – Dosing.
8.40 – Breakfast: Branflakes, P&P yoghurt, bread roll with strawberry jam, a pear, and an apple juice.
9.25 – Vitals.
10.15 – They’ve kept the lights dim today. Good. Closed curtains for a nap.
11.00 – Woke and the curtains were wide open. Courtesy!?!?
11.15 – Girl next door was walked in on while getting changed. Courtesy!!!
12.00 – Lunch: Chicken Cesar Wrap, C&O Crisps, raspberry yoghurt (no spoon), apple juice.
12.50 – Vitals and symptom diary card.
2.00 – Dosing. Every time they come in to do this stuff they ask me to confirm my initials and date of birth. It’s a bit ridiculous now. They’re on the wall and on my wrist and I’ve not gone anywhere for over week and the staff know who I am.
15.20 – Vitals. She made me put my bed flat saying that it was procedure. No one else had done that, so I wondered how important or well known procedure was. Then she asked me to confirm my initials and date of birth again. I pointed to my wristband and she said she needed me to say it. I didn’t see the point. I told her I could have swapped beds and wristbands with someone else, memorised their info and be lying. She said that the only way to get wristbands off is to break them. So I said, ‘if I wasn’t wearing my wristband, surely that would be a sign that something was wrong.’ She just restated that it was procedure to triple check with the poster, wristband, and verbally. I still couldn’t see why it was necessary. I’m not sure how we got on to it but I started telling her how we hadn’t been told up front how long the days were and how much they involved. She just tried to reassure me by telling me that other studies have it a lot worse, being woken up in the middle of the night to have blood taken, and fasting for several hours before being forced to eat food they don’t like. She said there would be a feedback form at the end of it and she’d mention it to the doctors. I’d probably make use of the form.
16.00 – A doctor came to speak to me about my concerns. He explained that the verbal check of details is just in case someone copies from the poster and wristband incorrectly and is just an extra way to ensure things are correct when dealing with experimental drugs. Then he said that he appreciated the feedback about not getting enough information before the study and that they wanted to make sure we were all comfortable as they couldn’t do it without us. I also mentioned the way curtains were rudely left open. He agreed that wasn’t right. I reassured him I didn’t mean to make a fuss, just wanted to explain what I thought.
16.15 – Rice Krispie bar and genoa fruit cake treat. I’ll save the bar.
16.40 – Remembered I should add ‘lack of laundry service’ to my complaints.

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17.15 – Dinner: Chicken and mushroom pie. No dessert.
18.10 – Vitals and symptom diary card. Nurse seemed a bit wary of me on her return and looked as though she was weighing up whether she should ask me to confirm my details again. She did and I let it slide. I’ve moaned enough today. Having been here all this time I think I’ve got a good enough idea of it all to do a pros and cons list of the experience for anyone interested.

Pros
Helping the future of medicine.
Friendly staff who genuinely seem to care.
Easy money (if you can cope with the cons).
Something different to be able say you’ve done.
Time to catch up on stuff.

Cons
Lack of sleep.
Despite having time to do stuff, being too worn out to concentrate and do it and having several interruptions.
Bad to mediocre food.
The few staff members who are inconsiderate.
Having someone escort you to the toilet and wait for you to finish.
Long days.
Jabs in the arm.
Nasal swabs.
Going topless in front of strangers.
Lack of privacy – probably better in studies where you get solo quarantine. Here, in a mixed gender room with several people, having to be escorted to toilet by staff and having them wait for you to finish.
Getting ill (if it happens, which it hasn’t seemed to this time).
No natural light (unless you get a window-side bed).
Watery custard (Listing this as a con as it would bother most people. Not me, as I don’t much like custard anyway, so the weakness made it more palatable).
Lack of laundry facility.
No beer, tea, chocolate, bacon, sex, KFC, pizza…

19.20 – Nasal wash.
19.55 – Dosing
21.30 – Vitals and genoa cake delivery.

Day 9

6.30 – Woken for vitals, diary card, and examination. That’s a bit more like it, but not much.
7.10 – Said they were doing spiro, but then nasal wash turned up instead.
7.20 – Spiro
8.00 – Dosing. Had a dodgy gas mask again. Had to breathe in really hard to make it work.
8.30 – Wondering where breakfast is. Quite hungry.
9.00 – Breakfast: Alpen, Croissant with butter and honey, apple nutri grain, an apple, and apple juice.
9.35 – Vitals.
9.45 – Spiro.
11.50 – Lunch: The most pathetic looking cheese and pickle sandwich, S&V crisps, p&p yoghurt, and an apple juice.
12.50 – Asked to rest for vitals.
13.15 – It’s another new nurse, so she’s taken this long to do the first girl. A couple of other nurses arrived to help. We did diary card too.
14.15 – Dosing.
16.20 – Chicken cup a soup. Nice surprise. It’s not tea, but a hot chicken drink is good enough for me right now.
17.10 – Sunday Roast and apple crumble again. Wonderfully adequate.
18.35 – Vitals and diary card. They said nasal washes were on the way. I needed the toilet but thought I’d wait.
19.25 – I decide to go to toilet. Nasal washes arrive a moment later.
20.10 – Dosing. Getting through it a bit quicker now.
21.35 – Vitals. Another new nurse. Came in the room and went to the girl next door and said to rest up for vitals. I started resting too. Part way through setting up, she came and asked me to start resting. I said I have been for about five minutes now. She went back and did the girls vitals, then came back to me and said I’ll need to rest for five minutes. I reminded her that I already had but she seemed to just start waiting anyway. After a couple of minutes past I said again that I’d probably been resting for ten minutes now. She said 30 more seconds. Then she dropped my phone on the floor and was pretty heavy handed with the thermometer. Last thing at night, this is probably more annoying than it should be.
21.50 – Strawberry yoghurt and genoa cake delivery.
23.20 – They stopped milling about our beds.

Day 10

6.25 – Vitals and diary card.
6.45 – Examination.
7.05 – Woken for spiro. She couldn’t find me on the machine or something so had to go find another one.
7.15 – Nasal wash. Worst one ever. She insisted I turn the light on, then she took bloody ages and loads of stuff went in my mouth.
7.25 – Spiro.
8.05 – Dosing. I think I got a dud breathing thing again.
9.00 – Breakfast arrived. Everyone was particularly exhausted today and had gone back to sleep. Branflakes, baguette with strawberry jam, strawberry yoghurt, apple Nutri-grain, two apples, and an apple juice. (Two apples? Not like I don’t already have two and a pear stashed away in my drawer)
9.20 – Half way through my yoghurt when they interrupted to do vitals check.
9.45 – They came to do a spiro but I pointed out on the schedule that I wasn’t meant to have one. They double checked and found I was right.
12.00 – Lunch: Chicken Cesar Wrap, C&O crisps, strawberry yoghurt. Maximum win.
12.05 – Surprise soup! Chicken, veg or tomato… I have a chicken wrap so I guess I’ll go with vegetable.
12.30 – Vitals and diary card.
14.00 – Dosing.
14.10 – Ate my pear.
16.20 – Vitals.
17.20 – Dinner. It’s fish today so I got a special serving of the bolognese again. Pudding was some sort of sponge with raisins.
18.10 – Vitals and diary card.
19.10 – Nasal wash.
20.00 – Dosing. Whizzed through it.
20.40 – Had my Rice Krispie bar.
21.40 – Strawberry yoghurt delivery.
21.45 – Vitals.

Day 11

5.40 – Woken by the lights being switched on. Very annoyed as today was gonna be a busy day. Dozed off again.
6.30 – Woken or examination.
6.40 – Vitals and diary card.
7.20 – Nasal wash turned up a few seconds after spiro so had to wait in line.
7.30 – Given a urine pot to fill. It would have to wait as I had just been.
7.55 – Dosing.
8.45 – Breakfast: Alpen (no bowl!), crusty bread roll with strawberry jam, raspberry yoghurt, an apple, and apple juice.
9.30 – Vitals.
9.40 – Spiro.
10.00 – Had blood taken. We noticed I had bruising which must have been from last time I had it taken. I thought it had hurt a bit more than it should.
11.05 – ECG
12.05 – Lunch: Ham and cheese sub, C&O crisps, strawberry yoghurt. I should like this stuff, but am getting bored of it..
12.45 – Vitals.
12.55 – Symptom diary card because they forgot.
13.10 – Spiro.
13.50 – Dosing. Just as they finished another guy came in who seemed to be a supervisor. He checked what they had done and seemed to notice that the dose might not have gone right. I now wondered whether I had been dosed at all in this study.
15.05 – Given a volunteer feedback form. Not much room for the feedback.
15.25 – Vitals.
15.45 – Spiro
15.50 – Went to the toilet. Heard a comment outside about how I was taking a long time. Felt I should hurry up the process.
16.00 – Flapjack and strawberry yoghurt delivery.
17.15 – Dinner: Beef..something. Stew? Could quite possibly be dog food. Another sponge pudding.

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18.10 – Vitals and symptom diary card. Nurse said we should be out by 5.30 tomorrow. But it seemed optimistic.
18.57 – Spiro. He didn’t realise til afterwards that it was a minute early and they have to do it on time so I had to do it twice.
19.10 – Nasal wash.
19.30 – Was asked if I want to know my lung age according to the spiros. It’s 54. I’m 27.. They reassured me that it’s nothing to worry about and that it doesn’t really mean anything.
20.30 – Our plates still haven’t been cleared and no sign of final doses.
20.35 – My final dosing.
20.50 – Nasal wash.
21.30 – Vitals.
21.40 – Spiro. Checked my age again. Now it’s 57. Aged three years in as many hours..
22.10 – While watching ‘V for Vendetta’, I really fancied an egg sandwich so asked for something to eat. The sandwish came true. Also got some genoa cake.
00.25 – Someone is still coming in and out of the cubicles checking stuff. Ridiculous.

Day 12

5.40 – Woken by lights on and staff doing stuff but dozed off again.
6.15 – Woken again by the same thing, but dozed again.
7.10 – Woken for nasal wash. He said again we should be out be 5.30.
7.30 – Vitals and diary card.
8.10 – Breakfast: Alpen, crusty bread roll with strawberry jam, strawberry yoghurt, an apple, and an apple juice.
9.10 – More in depth examination. As well as nose, throat, ears, and heart, he did knee reflexes, felt my stomach, did some basic sight and hearing tests, had me resist as he pushed my arms and eyelids up and down and asked if I had any unusual bruises or rashes.
10.00 – More blood taken. I’ve decided I never want blood taken again. It’s horrible. It’s probably just because it’s been so many in a short time and I’m tired. I’m not usually this upset by it.
11.40 – Weighed me. I was 75kg when I got here. I’m now 76.
12.10 – Lunch: Ham and Cheese sub (thought I ordered chicken wrap), S&V crisps (thought I ordered C&O) and a raspberry yoghurt.
12.30 – Called out for a leaving talk. Crocs said thanks for our cooperation and so on and explained that at about 3pm we would be getting final nasal washes. Half an hour after that we’d know if we were clear and could leave or if we would have to stay another night. Apparently no one had ever had to stay in the past. After that we would all have to shower and then we could go. Hopefully all out for 5pm.
14.10 – Snack delivery: three genoa cakes, three flapjacks, C&O crisps, and strawberry yoghurt. Ace!
15.30 – No sign of nasal wash. Everyone’s getting restless.
16.15 – Nasal wash. Hopefully the last one of my life. Looks increasingly unlikely we’ll be out of here by 5.30.
16.40 – Restless and agitated.
17.00 – Went to the toilet. Can see dinner being prepared. Don’t want it. Want to go home.
17.15 – Overheard Crocs say something about letting us go if we want to go.
17.20 – Kicking us out! YAY!
17.45 – After waiting around for so long, the first girl is asked to go to the shower.
18.00 – First boy asked to go to shower,
18.20 – Second girl asked to go. Getting very restless.
18.30 – The last two of us finally asked to go.
18.45 – After a quick wash, am out of the shower.
19.00- In cab heading for home!

Day 28

Had to revisit Ely for the follow up check.
One last time I had a urine sample taken, a blood sample taken, an ECG, blood pressure check, temperature check, nose, ears, throat, and heartbeat check, reflex check with Dr Ravi.
Job done.

Retrospectively, the tiredness was the worst of it. It made me cranky and made little things feel bigger. Most of the staff were absolutely wonderful, really friendly and helpful.
The procedures weren’t too taxing. The nasal swab was a horror but it only lasted a few seconds. Obviously needles aren’t great either.
I might do it again, but I’d have to make sure I knew better what I was getting into next time so I can avoid nasty surprises.

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Vocabulary 

  • Screening - noun, act or event of being checked for suitability

  • Ungodly - adjective, outrageous; shocking; dreadful; insufferable

  • Gist - noun, the main or essential part of a matter

  • Obnoxious - adjective, highly objectionable or offensive. annoying due to being a show-off or attracting undue attention to oneself

  • Vial - noun, Also phial. a small container, as of glass, for holding liquids

  • Nasal - adjective, relating to the nose

  • Predictable - adjective, able to be foretold or declared in advance

  • Contaminate - verb, to make impure or unusable by contact or mixture with something unclean or harmful

  • Eery/eerie - adjective, weird and inspiring uneasy fear

  • Contraband - noun, anything prohibited to be imported or exported

  • Quarantine - noun, a strict isolation imposed to prevent the spread of disease

  • Ensuite - noun, a bathroom attached to a bedroom

  • Faff - verb, British informal to dither or fuss

  • Proximity - noun, nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation; closeness

  • Inoculate - to implant (a disease agent or antigen) in a person, animal, or plant to produce a disease for study or to stimulate disease resistance

  • Incident - noun, an individual occurrence or event


Comprehension Questions

  1. What do you think the phrase ‘out of whack’ means?

  2. What do you make of the phrase ‘all pistons blazing’?

  3. What type of shoes was the author unhappy to see a doctor wearing?

  4. What fruit was prominent at the first meal?

  5. How long do you have to lie still before a blood pressure reading?

  6. On day 8, the writer was getting irritated. Was he justified?

  7. What do you think the phrase ‘milling about’ means?

  8. Did you find it easy or difficult to follow this informal style of writing?

  9. Do you think the diary is meant to be serious or funny?

  10. Do you think the writer enjoyed the experience?

  11. What were the writer’s biggest problems with the experience?

  12. Based on this, would you be interested to go to Flu Camp?

  13. BONUS ACTIVITY Write a short diary entry about an interesting event in your life.

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